Rob's Rant...Politically incorrect, offensive, and just plain stupid...

Fifth of adults choose pet over partner on Valentine's Day -poll (Reuters)

Reuters - Rather than spending Valentine's Day with their partner, one fifth of adults would prefer to be with their pet, although the French still came top for romance, according to a joint global poll by Reuters/Ipsos.

Camel burger newest "healthy" option on Dubai menu (Reuters)
Reuters - A traditional Emirati restaurant in Dubai has added a new entree to its menu billed as a fat-free choice for carnivorous but health-conscious diners: the Camel Burger.

Ancient dialect extinct after last speaker dies (Reuters)
Reuters - One of the world's oldest dialects, which traces its origins to tens of thousands of years ago, has become extinct after the last person to speak it died on a remote Indian island.

Sledder, 62, hurt when improvised rocket blows up (AP)
AP - A 62-year-old sledder looking for a burst of power got it when the homemade rocket strapped to his back exploded, burning him over nearly 20 percent of his body. Oakland County Undersheriff Mike McCabe said the man, whose identity hasn't been released, was hospitalized in stable condition Monday.

Alaska dentist fixes injured eagle's broken beak (AP)
AP - An Alaska dentist has given a bald eagle a unique beak — using a temporary crown, sticky poster putty and yellow highlighter.

Ohio strip club hosts 'Lap dances for Haiti' (AP)
AP - A strip club in Ohio has raised $1,000 for Haitian earthquake relief during what was billed as "Lap dances for Haiti." Marilyn's on Monroe in Toledo donated the $10 cover charges collected Saturday to ISOH (I-S-O-H)/IMPACT, an organization based in suburban Perrysburg that provides food and clothing for Haiti.

Pet owner killed by dogs after saving them from death (Reuters)
Reuters - A Slovenian who saved his three dogs from being put down for attacking humans was himself mauled to death by them, police said Wednesday.

Wyoming suspect flees into police station (AP)
AP - Police say a man suspected of stealing a bottle of Schnapps from a Wyoming grocery store didn't have the best escape route planned.

Pot smoker accused of trying to bribe urine tester (AP)
AP - A pot-smoking parolee in Colorado faces criminal charges for allegedly offering a cash bribe to try to pass a drug test. Police said a 34-year-old man tried Jan. 3 to bribe a state worker to allow him to use a device called a "Whizzinator" to pass a drug test he had to take while on parole. The man allegedly said he had a medical marijuana card, though officials couldn't confirm whether that was true.

Critics trash McDonald's nationalist food bid (Reuters)
Reuters - Fast food chain McDonald's has teamed up with the Italian government to cook up a hamburger with a national twist, but the unusual initiative is giving some food lovers cultural indigestion.

No dressing down for banker in TV supermodel email blunder (Reuters)
Reuters - An Australian banker who became an internet sensation after he was caught on live television viewing images of a scantily clad supermodel on his computer will keep his job, Macquarie Bank said Friday.

Police: Man tries to buy crack with credit card (AP)
AP - Authorities said a man accused of stealing a car then reporting it stolen remains in custody after telling police he was robbed at gunpoint while trying to buy crack cocaine with a credit card. The Flint Journal said the man reported Thursday night that a 2003 Chevy Malibu had been stolen.

Woman seeks "Jessica Alba" makeover to win back lover (Reuters)

Reuters - A Chinese woman is seeking extensive plastic surgery to look like U.S. actress Jessica Alba, mainly because she hopes to win back her boyfriend who she said always wished she looked more like the Hollywood star.

Police: Man stuffed 75 bottles of lotion in pants (AP)
AP - Police say a Massachusetts man who stuffed 75 bottles of body lotion in his pants couldn't slip away from authorities, hampered by slacks that were nearly bursting at the seams.

Drunk driver had 49 children in 16-seat taxi (Reuters)
Reuters - A South African minibus taxi driver five times over the legal blood alcohol limit at breakfast time was arrested on Wednesday for transporting 49 children in a 16-seat vehicle.

Ill. kitten pulled from dash gets new home, name (AP)
AP - Central Illinois mechanic Dana Underwood makes the nooks and crannies of a car sound like a small-animal zoo. He's fished mice, snakes and rabbits out of automobiles — some alive, some not. Underwood's Thursday auto safari had a happy ending.

Cow tips man and steps on him at UT campus (AP)
AP - People probably can't tip cows, but a cow tipped a person in Knoxville. Then it stepped on him. An ambulance was called to the University of Tennessee agriculture campus Friday morning. Fire Department Capt. D.J. Corcoran told The Knoxville News Sentinel first responders found a 40 to 50-year-old man who said he was working with cattle in a pen when one knocked him down and stepped on his chest.

Banker red-faced over racy photo (Reuters)
Reuters - A red-faced banker has been caught looking at racy near-nude photographs on his computer, with his actions broadcast live on Australian television.

Teen crashes car into school, drives down hall (AP)
AP - Sheriff's deputies said a 17-year-old boy crashed his parents' car through the doors of Shorecrest High School in Shoreline, then drove it down the hall. The car finally stopped 75 yards later when it hit a security office. Two school workers were still on the property and heard the crash.

The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein

Joe Theisman - Football Genius